Tacoma, WA - Forget Angelina and Brad, the real Puget Sound power couple on the rocks wasn't over infidelity or bad Botox! Nay, it was a war fought on a battlefield of 72 inches: the mattress! Yes, you heard right folks, Beatrice "Bunny" Belladonna and her hunky husband, Thor "The Tank" Thunderfist, almost saw their love story crumble like stale biscotti over the age-old question: firm or soft?

Bunny, a delicate butterfly who floats through

life on a cloud of scented lavender pillows, craved a mattress that embraced her like a marshmallow cocoon. Thor, a man whose muscles could crush diamonds, needed a bed that wouldn't flinch under his thunderous snores, let alone his sleepwalking  karate routines. Night after night, the battle raged. Bunny would sink into the mattress abyss, whimpering about her "aching bones," while Thor would bounce like a caffeinated kangaroo, grumbling about "sleeping in a hole."
It was a comedy of errors, Shakespearean in its domestic drama. Bunny would build pillow fortresses to escape the mattress valleys, while Thor erected snoring barricades of rolled-up towels. Their once-passionate nights became logistical nightmares, involving synchronized mattress tossing and turning and whispered pleas for separate blankets.

Enter the "Phoenix Iselect Mattress," a revolutionary mattress that adjusts to each sleeper's preferences with a very simple transition, at a fraction of the cost of a sleep number bed! Bunny could melt into her marshmallow paradise, while Thor slept atop a mountain of firmness, his snores finally contained within his own personal seismic zone. The results were, well, miraculous. Bunny awoke with a smile as soft as her new mattress side, while Thor's morning grunts were replaced by contented purrs. They rediscovered the joys of cuddling, no longer separated by a canyon of discomfort.

The "Phoenix Iselect Mattress" became their love nest, a symbol of their restored harmony.

The "Phoenix Iselect Mattress" became their

love nest, a symbol of their restored harmony.

So, couples out there battling over mattress mounds and comfort chasms, take heed!

The "Phoenix Iselect Mattress" might just be the magic spell to banish the bedtime blues and reignite the spark in your love life. Just remember, sometimes, all it takes to save a relationship is a bed that's half-way decent on both sides. Now, excuse us while we go take a nap on our cloud of blissful compromise!

P.S. We hear the "Phoenix Iselect Mattress" also comes with a built-in white noise app to drown out your partner's snoring.

P.P.S. Mattress, LLC, off 512 and I-5 in Lakewood, has just received a Semi-truckload of these mattresses and for a limited time is giving you 80% off MSRP if you act quickly!        See Below   \/  \/  \/